OK, I was MIA last week due to some extenuating circumstances, but our other contributor Matthew Conway held shit down. I was going to do reviews of all the shows from the past seven days, but it was last night before I got caught up. So I figured I would just do a live blog for RAW. I’ll probably be doing WWE shows like this in the future.
Seth Rollins came out to run down the fans, then my Internet went out. Since I’m watching on a free stream, I missed about five minutes until it popped back on. When it did, Rollins was calling Ambrose a cockroach who survived, but couldn’t thrive. I didn’t like that line too much, because it sounded a little too scripted. Other than that, the opening was fine (from what I saw).
Rollins dared Ambrose to come in the ring and sign the contract for to title match on Sunday. Then Roman Reigns came out for backup, and this led into Stephanie making a tag match between Reigns/Ambrose and Rollins/Kane.
Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins & Kane
Match is nothing special so far, Rollins hit a nice dropkick on Ambrose while he was in the Tree of Woe. Abrose hits the flying elbow on a standing Kane (love that fucking move), but Rollins breaks up the pin. Then Seth hits him with the springboard Nakamura-style Knee. Rollins loses focus, though, and this leads to Rollins getting beat clean by Ambrose with a backslide.
Match was short but served it’s purpose, which was to make you think Ambrose can win on Sunday. Of course winning clean tonight makes me think that’s out of the question, but stranger things have happened.
Rusev is out to kill someone tonight, it looks like. They go to the recap of him breaking up with Lana last week. This may be the most unrealistic storyline of the year lol. Who the hell would breakup with Lana voluntarily? No surprise that she runs to Dolph. I think many of us saw that coming a mile away.
R-Truth vs Rusev
Truth starts out strong for like 15 seconds, but then gets blasted by Rusev, and put into the The Accolade. Total squash.
Rusev grabs the mike, and calls for Lana to come down to the ring, cause “we need to talk.”
Cue the abrupt cut to commercial break…
Rusev tells Lana that he knows she wants to crush the American spirit just as badly as he does, and that she still cares about him. “Take my hand, and all will be forgotten. We can do this for the motherland.”
Lana takes his hand as Rusev pulls her in for a hug. JBL: “I’m really happy about that.”
Rusev: Now all I need you to say are three little words, three magical little words: I was wrong.”
Lana now looks super pissed, as was to be expected. She’s leaving the ring, but before she goes, she says she wasn’t wrong, and Rusev did in fact say I Quit in the Cena match.
Rusev: “I tried to be nice, but you need to know you’re place, woman!”
I’m not sure this is going to work, Rusev. Lana gets in his face and says no, calls him a quitter, and says Rusev doesn’t own her. She calls him a caveman, and says she won’t be his victim any longer. You didn’t play it cool, Rusev.
Now Dolph is out to cleanup with another kiss for Lana, while Rusev rages in the ring. End of segment.
Camera cuts to Triple H & Rollins coming up on Ambrose. They have the cameraman from earlier, and are now going to have Dean arrested. This is an old Stone Cold angle, of course. They’ve been trying to book Ambrose like a poor man’s Austin, so this makes sense. You could see something like this coming after they did the earlier angle.
Ryback vs King Barrett
Barrett has been jobbing to everyone since winning King of the Ring. I’m sure he’s thrilled. I bet he’s about to do another job right here, by the way. We’ll see. He goes after Ryback’s taped ribs on the outside, driving him ribs-first into the barrier. Maybe he’ll end up getting the victory here? I’m still betting on Ryback overcoming somehow. Barrett start paint-brushing him with slaps to the head after Ryback collapses before the Bullhammer, which inspires Ryback to pick him up for the ShellShock and beat Barrett. Wow, who saw that coming?
3H says there’s no way Ambrose will be bailed out in time to sign the contract, which means he definitely will be. The Entourage cast come in to do a segment promoting their new movie. Turtle says he gets his ass kicked by Rhonda Rousey, which he said Steph is probably familiar with. This put a damper on festivities, and they’re told their room is over there on the right.
I went to take a piss, and now that I’m back, we have…
Neville vs Stardust
What the hell was wrong with Adrian Neville? Vince has lost his mind on this shit. The announcers start talking about Stephen Amell being at the show, and talk about the Twitter fight between him and Stardust:
— Stephen Amell (@amellywood) May 25, 2015
Don't tweet me. Show me. https://t.co/rpRT9fhn09
— Stephen Amell (@amellywood) May 26, 2015
Neville makes short work of Stardust, and hits him with the Red Arrow.
JBL: “Stardust, you have failed this city.” I still don’t actually see Amell, though. Maybe they’re about to do an angle backstage, or something. Or maybe it’s just another thing that they talk about, that never happens.
I keep seeing a bunch of Lucha Underground ads during this RAW. That’s a good thing. I’m going to try to cover it a little bit in the future myself.
Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus
Hopefully, Dolph doesn’t lose to Sheamus again. The one victory he did get was a weak rollup, then he got his ass kicked afterwards (and had to kiss ass, literally). Give and take match, until Rusev comes out and distrats Dolph, who ends up eating a Brogue Kick. He then gets put in The Accolade, as Rusev screams at Lana to “kiss him now.” I’m not really digging this feud very much. I know they wanted to make Lana a face, but Dolph is looking super lame, and Rusev isn’t looking any better.
John Cena is out now, and the Nassau Coliseum crowd is booing the fuck out of him. “John Cena Sucks” gets chanted all throughout his song, as the announcers hype his match with Kevin Owens on Sunday at Elimination Chamber. Cena is babbling on with the same promo he’s done for fucking years. He says “Fight, Owens, Fight does not promise Win, Owens, Win.” OK, John. Can you get on with the show, please? I have actually been enjoying you a little bit lately, but you’re creeping back into that mode that I hate. He says he’s proud to put the U.S. Title on the line for Memorial Day.
Who’s coming out?
The Entourage cast, of course. I guess this is going to end up with Zack Ryder getting involved somehow, since they were talking to him backstage earlier. I don’t even remember if I typed that, but there you go. This RAW kinda sucks, let’s face it. But Ryder is getting huge pops for his Long Island heritage.
Zack Ryder vs John Cena for the WWE United States Championship
They had a decent match. Ryder has never gotten a fair shake from WWE. Dude has talent. One of the Entourage guys (Matt Dillon’s brother) tried to interfere, but the rollup from Ryder failed. The he tried a 450 Splash, missed, then got an AA for the loss. Afterwards, the cast, Cena, and Ryder all raised each others hands, as the crowd mostly played along.
Then Owens come out of nowhere and lays Cena out with another Pop-Up Powerbomb. He steps on the U.S. Title again, and laughs at Cena. I’m getting pretty hyped for this match on Sunday.
Paige vs Tamina
Paige said Tamina might be competing in the wrong division on SmackDown (implying Tamina is a man). This match is the result of Paige running her mouth, I guess. Paige gets beat after Naomi interferes. Match sucked. It’s amazing how much worse the women’s division is on RAW when compared to NXT.
New Day comes out, as the announcers kick it to commercial.
Kane come out and puts them in a 10-on-3 handicap match. It makes no sense for a heel authority figure to do this to a heel team, but this is WWE, so whatever. Then we get yet another commercial. Great. We already know the show is gonna end with Ambrose showing up to sign the contract. How long is this match gonna be? It’s already 10:47. I guess it is 10 vs 3, so that makes the logic of it being short make sense. But this is tragic. We haven’t had one full match all night, really. They’ve all been used for angles.
Match turns into a farce, as all the other tag teams jump New Day. Hurry up and get to Ambrose, please. I know this is supposedly a promo for the tag team Chamber match, but eh. All the teams end up fighting each other. The Lucha Dragons end up doing corkscrew body presses from the top onto everyone on the outside (except New Day, who are left in the ring). Tyson and Cesaro end up giving Xavier Woods an asskicking, and we end with them standing tall.
Main Event Contract Angle
Someone backstage shot a video, and it shows Rollins pushing the cameraman into Ambrose. This is going to lead to him coming back here in a second, I would presume. Hunter is just about to announce that Ambrose is shit out of luck, when Reigns runs into the ring and starts beating up The Authority, until Kane catches him with a chokeslam.
Here’s comes a huge NYPD van with Dean Ambrose in the driver’s seat…and he has a police jacket on. He comes down to the ring with a nightstick and starts cleaning house. Kane tries to chokeslam him, but he reverses. Reigns ends up hitting Kane with a Superman Punch from the outside, and then Ambrose gives him Dirty Deeds. Reigns slides back in the ring and hands Dean the contract to sign, which he does. The show then signs off with hype for Elimination Chamber, and WWE Network.
Final Thoughts: This show was defintely skippable. I didn’t think this had enough for the go-home RAW, but at least the Ambrose finish was somewhat hot, and there were a few good moments throughout. It wasn’t the worst RAW I’ve seen, let’s put it that way.